“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s simply an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, curiously, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Truly, consider my perspective.
When situations deteriorate, the most counterproductive action you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Indeed, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (arguably his best) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and with the passage of time, it’s the theme that echoes the loudest.
Understandably, my fondness for this movie didn’t start on such an deeply thoughtful note. In my youth, we were limited to a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and sporting growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was instantly captivated and these films wasted no time inserting themselves inside my small, malleable brain. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s original typically gets all the plaudits, thanks largely to its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. That said, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.
As I grew, new revelations enhanced repeat viewings, heightening the enjoyment of watching little green monsters happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.
The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film different iterations of a self-aware scene where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. An edit for movie houses, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.
While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this subsurface richness kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and determination to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only made me love it even more.
When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it offered was essential to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had given me as an adult were similarly beneficial.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.
It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.
A health enthusiast and writer passionate about sharing evidence-based wellness advice and personal health journeys.
