Should A Wannabe Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?